And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

Marriage is hard. It has a lot to teach us about ourselves and our relationships with God, other people and society as a whole. God created it to be that way. That’s why the relationship between God and His people is described as a marriage throughout the Bible. It is the core of the relationships that make a family, a society, a nation, and the world. But with the percentage of first marriages in the US ending in divorce at around 36% (and higher for subsequent marriages), it seems we might not be learning the lessons as well as we should.

Like our relationship with God, marriage requires total commitment. Jesus wants to be the Master of our entire lives, not just bits and pieces of it. We give up our own life to live in obedience to Him. Marriage requires the same kind of commitment. We can’t be married part-time any more than we can be Christians part-time. The commitment is to stick it out and work through whatever comes your way. Christians face these challenges in their faith and churches too. This is the quality of faithfulness.

Marriage also requires selflessness. Jesus asks us to die to self. Marriage is a great training ground for that. We should understand that we must be submitted to each other, and are no longer free to live, spend and do whatever we want, whenever we want without thinking of our spouse. It requires letting go of selfishness, control and free-will, and increasing humility, self-control and cooperation. These are great qualities for Christians.

Similarly, marriage requires sacrifice. Ephesians 5:25 puts it this way, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Jesus’ sacrifice was total. We married people can get to feeling resentful about things from time to time. But Jesus didn’t resent us. He got frustrated with us occasionally, but He still gave all of His time, effort and love to us, even when knew it would mean suffering. We need to be willing to suffer for Christ, and for our spouse when necessary. Of course, the sacrifice and selflessness is for both spouses. And it is great training for parenthood!

And we can’t forget the lessons in forgiveness. Hey, we’re human. We will not always live up to Christ’s standards. Some days, our worldly old selves will rear their ugly heads and words will be said, actions taken, trust broken, hurts inflicted. Can we learn to let it go and graciously forgive? How many times did Jesus say we must forgive? How much has He forgiven us? Marriage is a bootcamp for the elite course in forgiveness. But it is perhaps the most Christlike quality, and one of the hardest to master.

When each partner in a marriage, each member of a family, each part of the church body is fully yielded to Christ, with humble hearts of service, not big heads of ego, committed to following God’s commands, God’s call and God’s will, marriage, like our faith, will become much easier and full of joy rather than frustrating and full of resentment. That’s because God desires to bless us, and one of those blessings is showing us how to live the most joyfully abundant lives we possibly can. We live that life by following in our Master, Jesus’ footsteps and becoming more and more like Him day by day (seeing Him more clearly, loving Him more dearly and following Him more nearly 😉 https://youtu.be/zWAqW5D5kZo?si=OTmn2UyTxiRaqXLh) That’s what True Love is all about.

With love,

Jen