And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. (Matthew 23:9)

Let’s be real – people are a disappointment.  Even the ones you really love and care about. There’s a reason ‘love one another’ is the second Great Command – it’s important, but it’s hard – we have to be reminded to keep at it. Even parents disappoint. Commandment #5 reminds us to “honor our father and mother” because it’s a challenge sometimes.

My dad, who I idolized, eventually disappointed me. I certainly disappointed him. And I, in turn, have been enlightened as to how I disappointed my own children.

It’s an inevitable situation because A. people are unique and will often act in ways that we don’t like or expect, and B. lacking humility, we pridefully expect people to act in a way that makes us happy. It’s a recipe for ruffled feathers.

Ephesians 6:1-4 instructs us:

“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

If children are obedient and respectful, parents will have no reason to provoke them to anger with punishment. Conversely, if parents teach their children discipline and responsibility in the Lord, kids should have no reason not to honor and obey their parents. Then again, we all have our emotions and bad days when respect and responsibility go out the window or we stubbornly want what we want, forgetting that it isn’t about us.

When these times come, whether between parents and children, friends, coworkers or church members, here are some verses to guide your reconciliation:

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1-2)

“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” (Luke 17:3-4)

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.  Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. (Romans 12:17-18, 2)

Parenthood is a tough job. What makes it, and life in general, easier is to have the guiding principles of our Father in Heaven to help us. No matter whether your earthly father disappointed you or was absent physically or emotionally, you have a perfect Father in Heaven who loves you with an everlasting love and wants to give you an abundant life of holiness and service, teaching you to walk in Truth. This is what we should want for our children (and the world). This is living our best life – no disappointment in that!

And parents, here’s a life verse for you if you don’t already have one:

Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love. (1 Corinthians 16:13-14)

Blessings,

Jen