For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
~ Jeremiah 29:11
So, my first-born, my little boy, who used to ride the dog and make play-dough masterpieces, has now graduated from High School. I've had 17 years to prepare for this, but I just don't think I would ever have been prepared. This whole year has been such a bittersweet experience, full of joy and trepidation, exhilaration and disappointment. It would have been better if it could have been spread out more, but some things in life are just like that. So, in the last few months I've watched him apply to college, get accepted to his first choice school, get a scholarship to the Honors Program, make his first date, rent a tux and go to the prom, get hired for his first job, quit his first job, finish his driver training, devastatingly fail his first driver's test, and walk across the stage and receive his diploma.
All the while, trying to psychically prepare myself for his journey into full adulthood, I have been met by comments (mostly by men) suggesting that I 'cut the apron strings'. It's frustrating, because, frankly, I didn't tie those strings. I find that just like when he was 3 and learning to be on his own for the first time, he makes a great stride, and then hurries back, symbolically holding on to my leg now, not literally. I remember this time of life. As much as you want to be an adult and be 'free', it's also scary. And you don't want to feel cut off from remaining part of the family. So, personally, I have no desire to make the transition final by demanding rent, or making him leave home. I think life will be harsh enough as it is. Like a bird with a mended wing, I want him to feel comfortable taking wing whenever he feels ready so that he'll be successful. Now, believe me, there will come a day when he'll need to be out on his own. And I'm quite sure my hubby will make that clear when the time comes! Still, maybe selfishly, I don't want to feel like the curtain has come down and it's the end. I prefer to think of this as the scene change for Act 2. With that thought, I'm free to look forward to the plot twists and conflict resolutions to come...there's plenty of time before the final curtain call!
Dearest Lord, thank You for all the beginnings and endings in our lives, and for the twisting, turning paths along the way. Let me be grateful for all you have given me in my children, and let me trust in You to provide their futures. Because I know you hold the future -- and life is worth the living because You live! Amen.